I wrote this post once and then lost it to the ether. Let’s see if I can re-write it without having a complete meltdown.
I have been fighting for short-term disability pay for a couple of weeks (seems like MUCH longer). I have also been waiting for a FMLA approval letter that extends my medical leave until August 27. During the course of my leave, the only thing that has been resolved is that I am no longer hypertensive. I suffered through a sleep study only to find out that I do not have sleep apnea. Meanwhile, I STILL have not found any relief from my fibromyalgia pain and subsequent insomnia. My regular physician has thrown up her hands and recommended that I see someone in Internal Medicine. I also need to see a Rheumatologist. Last Sat., my dad asked me if I was going to apply for disability (he is legally disabled).
This was supposed to be a post about the pros and cons of returning back to work full-time, but in the meantime I made a decision and then flip-flopped. I am not going back to my job. I think my work environment is what put me where I am today. It is very toxic and none of the people in my department are happy with their jobs. Despite all this, I requested to go back at 32 hours per week on a permanent basis and it was denied. That made my decision final.
This leaves my husband and I with a HUGE problem. We can not afford to live on one income with $21K in credit card debt. We looked into debt relief, but still couldn’t afford the monthly payment. That left only one option, dip into what is already a paltry retirement fund. Yesterday, I cashed in one of my Traditional IRAs. My husband will also have to cash out a portion of his. Unfortunately, that still leaves us with no ($125) emergency fund, no way of paying for hotel and spending at Fincon and much-needed truck repairs.
My husband has signed up for his health insurance, which is nowhere as good as mine and changed his withholding. He has never complained once. I feel like such a failure yet again. He has been my rock and stood by me through my three layoffs and the short-sale of our dream home. He deserves so much better.
What’s next you ask? I am going to sell 2 Kindles, a Wii and woman’s golf clubs and anything else I can find on Craigslist. I am also seeking a part-time accounting or finance job. I am considering resurrecting my jewelry business and will definitely focus on making an income writing.
Go ahead and judge if you must. I’m pretty sure that I couldn’t feel worse if I tried. I hope some of you will be compassionate. I will be calling on some of you for your expertise and advice in coming weeks and months.